I dont know how many times I’ve secretly cried after having to ask someone for something. Ive wondered if they could tell how hot my cheeks are from blushing of embarrassment. They are all unaware of the hours I spent debating if I would even ask of the favor. How hard my heart is beating. Nothing can beat the feeling of needing help but only wanting help from yourself…and when you cant help yourself, you feel inadequate. 

hmm well put.

(Source: daretobeblack)

I do. The place I am internally is euphoric. For once I feel at total peace with myself relationship wise. I am calm. No anxious for companion. I am content. Not dissatisfied with inconsistency. I have found consistency within myself. I have found fulfillment in being alone and filling the smalls gaps with genuine friendship and memorable laughs. I am not bitter and I am not hardened. I have embraced lessons that I have known since younger, way before my peers, and now I have actually comprehended them. I have matured. I feel as though I know what it feels like for the oak to spread its branches. I feel as though I have evolved. I have grown.  

I am currently oblivious to love and infatuation. Do you remember life before puberty? Before emotions ran so deep. I feel as though I have reached this again. 

an ex reached out to me today. I felt nothing. I saw a pic of Gabby today and felt nothing. I, for just a second, forgot about her existence. It feels so good. 

I swear truly being over someone is second to actually being in love. It feels like you have won a war. You have.

This summer? 

I just want to write as usual. Im ready for some open mics. I want to fill up my summer journal with memories that will last a lifetime. I want to have wonderful conversation. I want to take care of my hair. I want to meet new people. I dont want to live it. I want to feel it.

and the feeling is Euphoria. 

(Source: thafemalefagg)